Oct 02 2009
I Guess It’s Just Another Night Alone
I sit on my bed and stare numbly at my ipod. I smile bitterly as I listen to songs that remind me of her and of others, too. I sigh, and then think about how much that lifeless sigh summarizes everything about me. I feel like I’ve lost my passion, like I’ve lost my sense of joy. Nothing seems to make me happy anymore. I’m at college and I should be having the time of my life, but instead I feel like I’m just going through the motions; just going to class and nothing else. I don’t do much for fun, and the only reason I look forward to the weekend is just because I don’t have to go to class anymore - I don’t actually do anything. Nothing excites me anymore. I’m just an extra in the black-and-white film that has become my unremarkable life.
I wonder if this is how I will always feel. Logic tells me that it will pass as the waves from the wake of her love finally pass out of sight, but it feels like nothing is ever going to change. And it’s simply unbearable. Everyday, it’s the same old shit, and everyday my plastic smile grows a bit harder to wear. I just waste the days away - which is exactly what used to make me happy, but my happiness left with her.
It’s so weird to think that I was happier than ever just a few months ago. Everything changes so quickly once you let your guard down. I need someone to restore my joy again…but who? Nothing ever changes. I wish I had someone who could excite me again, even if it can’t be her. I just wish I had someone to make me happy.
But I guess it’s just another night alone…
I too feel this way sometimes. This feeling does pass. I am currently looking into hobbies I can do that will help bring back some passion into my life. You can’t rely on someone else to make you happy. You need to do that by getting out and find that something that makes you who you are.
www.wantingtowork.today.com
Hmm you’re right. I suppose I should work more on making myself happy and less on finding people to do it for me. Thank you.